The Hormone Roller Coaster to Hell

Some of you may have read in earlier posts that I have been having a very difficult time since switching my testosterone from a weekly injection of testosterone cypionate to a longer acting form called Nebido. Mood swings have been off the charts starting around week 4 after every shot. My shot cycles were shortened from every 12 weeks to every 8 weeks, but that still leaves 4 weeks per cycle when I  feel like I’m on the hormone roller coaster to hell. It’s part of why I have not been writing here as often as I’d like.

Tomorrow morning I’ll be taking the first step in trying to remedy the problem. I’ll be undergoing the first of the FtM “lower” surgeries. This one will be a radical hysterectomy where the uterus, fallopian tubes, ovaries and cervix will be removed via laproscopy. My endocrinologist believes that my body has still been cycling and that my estrogen levels have been too high. It is hoped that by doing the radical hysterectomy it will stop my cycling and get me off the hormonal ups and downs.

I’ve been a lot more nervous about this surgery than I was about top surgery. I’m not exactly sure why though. This is a routinely performed surgery. It will also be a shorter surgery. I think this one might scare me a bit more because it is an internal abdominal surgery and there are more things that can go wrong. Like seriously wrong. I’m probably nervous for nothing and everything will go just fine without any complications. I just wish I could get myself to believe that.

I also wonder how much of my apprehension about this surgery is because so much of my quality of life seems to be riding on the outcome. I’m getting really tired of the roller coaster. I’m ready to get off it now.


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7 responses to “The Hormone Roller Coaster to Hell”

  1. Jennifer Sturch says :

    Ugh, HORMONES! They really make us feel crazy, don’t they. I’m so sorry you’re on that roller coaster. Take heart, the ride will settle. If it helps any, I had a total hysterectomy 3 years ago. I won’t lie, it was rough, but you’ll get through it. You have a lovely wife and friends to support you. Stay strong, hang in there. I’ll be thinking about you guys.

    • abeardedgnome says :

      Thanks Jennifer! Getting the hysto can’t be any worse than what I have been going through with the hormone levels. It will take some time, but eventually I will get leveled off with the right schedule on testosterone. Thanks for the support!

  2. loricaliforny says :

    Sending peace and love to you. Getting the ovaries out will make a BIG difference.

  3. NavelgazingMidwife says :

    You’re all done… sorry it took so long to read this… but Zack’s hysterectomy was one of the best things he ever did. It leveled out his hormones tremendously. He *loves* that he had the surgery and wasn’t worried about it at all (probably because I’m a midwife and comforted him tremendously about it… wish I’d read this before your surgery so I could have done the same for you). He helps others doing the same thing and they tend to breeze through as well. Thank heavens.

    I hope you’re feeling better by now. Just remember, no lifting/pulling anything more than 10 pounds for 6 weeks lest all your guts fall through the inner sutures. This is the most important post-op instructions that people ignore. Don’t!

    Congrats on getting more completed. I’m proud of you for continuing.

    • abeardedgnome says :

      Thanks Barb! I am doing better each day. I have had less pain with this surgery than I did with the top surgery. Still have some internal soreness, but slowly getting better. I get the staples remove from the incision sites on Friday. It looks a bit freaky to see myself stapled together, even if it is just a short incision.

      I will do my best to follow the no lifting instructions. I certainly don’t want my guts falling out. 🙂

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